How to Tell if Your Friend Really Knows You
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Friends make life more rich and satisfying, that's for sure. But sometimes it tin can exist hard to tell when you've crossed the line from "acquaintance" to "friend" with another person. Learn to recognize who'due south a friend in your life by searching for some key elements. Look for qualities such every bit being loyal and dependable, spending time with y'all, and showing that they intendance.
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Reflect on how y'all treat one another. Friends are typically loyal to i another, meaning that you shouldn't reflect back to countless occasions when they have betrayed you, and vice versa. It's hard for two people to be friends and not ever let one another downwards. But, betrayals shouldn't be standard in the human relationship.[one]
- If this person never talks about y'all backside your dorsum, spreads rumors about you, or disappoints y'all repeatedly in other means, they probably are your friend.[2]
- A good friend should value you equally a person, not view your friendship as a series of transactions.[three]
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Determine if they keep your secrets. Friends are infamous for taking secrets to the grave. If you shared information that you lot did not desire known by the full general public, your friend keeps their lips sealed.[4]
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Meet if they have your back during hard times. One of the positives well-nigh going through a breakup, losing a loved 1, or having a setback in life is that you tin can count on your friends to be there. This person shouldn't only be around during the good times, if they are truly your friend.[5]
- Think about a time when you lot were having a actually difficult fourth dimension in your life. Was this person there for you?
- A true friend should be with you through the good, bad, and ugly. They should offering to help you nevertheless they can, and bring you back from the darkness into the light again. A truthful friend would never think of leaving y'all during a hard time in your life.
- A fake friend, or someone who y'all are not shut to, volition probably only stick around when things are going well. They might fifty-fifty call up or say that your issues are a burden to them. That's the marking of a fake friend.
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Encounter if they are happy when you reach your goals. A true friend volition not be jealous when yous share whatsoever achievement or success in your life. They volition celebrate your accomplishments instead trying to tear yous down. To decide if this is an authentic friendship or not, pay attending to meet if your friend sticks around while you reach new goals and loftier points in your life.
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Notice if they prioritize your friendship. If you know that you tin count on this person at the drop of a dime, they probably are your friend. Good friends prioritize their pals over other relationships and situations, especially when they know you lot need them.[6]
- For example, even if your friend is away on holiday, they'll still brand fourth dimension to call back and check in on you when y'all're sick.
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Ask if they make time for you, fifty-fifty when they are decorated. While people tin can remain friends without seeing i another for a long fourth dimension, friendships are sustained with quality fourth dimension together. Even if your friend is busy with school, piece of work, or other responsibilities, they should notwithstanding make time to telephone call, text, or hang out.[seven]
- This goes both ways. If you call someone your "friend" but never seem to have time for them, you lot may need to reassess how important they are to you.
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Bank check if they get jealous of other friendships. A true friend won't be jealous or possessive - they should feel confident plenty in your friendship that they don't have to resort to any sort of manipulative control. They realize that you do non accept to be in their visitor 24/7 in gild to validate the friendship. If your friend is trying to prevent you from being friends with other people, they might not be a truthful friend.
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Make sure y'all savor being together. This probably goes without saying, but friends have fun together. No thing if you are bored at home watching Tv or painting the town red, information technology's all the more tolerable when yous're together.[8]
- Every bit a result of enjoying spending time together, you and your friend probably have a host of memories you've made together.
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Determine if they help brand y'all a better person. Some people may pretend to exist your friend, merely they'd much rather see you fail or go into trouble. Incidents happen, of course. But, for the most office, this person should be a adept influence on you. They motivate you to go a better person.[9]
- For example, your friend might push you to finish school, propose that you mend fences with your estranged relatives, and inspire you to requite back to others.
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Reflect on how you experience when they're around. A true friend should make you lot experience happier and more live when you're around them, instead of drained or stressed out. A day spent with your friend should leave yous feeling rejuvenated, vibrant, and excited about life. They should be lifting you lot up, not trigger-happy y'all downwardly.
- Try to really think about what you're hoping to get from your relationship. Does this friendship look and feel the way you'd like to?[10]
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Find that yous have deeper conversations with this person. If a friend asks "How'south information technology going?" you're non pressured to respond with "fine." Instead, you'll likely go right into how your mom is stressing you out or how your girlfriend is interim differently.[11]
- This element of advice betwixt shut contacts is often referred to equally self-disclosure. Y'all are more likely to disclose intimate details virtually yourself with a friend than you are with a total stranger or coincidental associate.
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Question if they really know you and still have you. Friends allow you to be who you are with no restrictions. If someone is your friend, you have the luxury of showing them your true cocky—a self that many others may non fully know—only you can however count on this person to honey and have you anyway.[12]
- Friends don't have to pretend with ane some other like many people practice in casual relationships.
- A truthful friend shouldn't want to change who yous are. They will take and cover everything most y'all, even your awkward and silly parts. This does not mean they have to hold with everything y'all do or say, but they should not bash you or try to change you.
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Determine if they listen. Friends won't make information technology all about them in advice. In addition to knowing when to share, they also know when and how to mind. Skilful listening skills in a friend are important considering you demand to experience heard and understood by the people yous care nigh.[thirteen]
- Pay attending in your next conversation. Does your friend accept the time to hear your bulletin before responding?
- Even if your friend isn't the all-time listener, information technology should be articulate that they are trying to hear you out and non just talking about themselves.
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Question if they respect your boundaries. Salubrious relationships of any kind require boundaries—friendships are no exception. A good friend should be willing to acknowledge and respect those boundaries. At the same time, they shouldn't feel threatened by them.
- For instance, if you tell a friend that you don't feel comfy with them reading your diary or periodical, they should respect your wish.
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Effigy out if they support you. A friend is someone who shows their affection for you lot in many means, one of which is in their support for y'all and your ideas, interests, and goals. This person should be willing to clap for you when y'all are succeeding and help nurse your wounds when you are injure.[14]
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Notice if they are forgiving. Everyone makes mistakes, and your friend should be willing to accept that you're no unlike. When you mess up and injure their feelings, you might apologize and beg for their forgiveness. A good friend volition gratefully accept your amends and offer y'all forgiveness. They won't hold your criminality over your caput or use it to manipulate you lot.[15]
- For example, if you forgot to telephone call a friend back, they shouldn't avert you for several days. They should recognize that it was a unproblematic mistake and not give you a hard time virtually it.
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Listen for honest feedback. The matter that separates a friend from the general population is their investment in y'all as a person. They care almost yous, which means they are honest with you, even if what they take to say hurts.[16]
- A friend should offer constructive feedback if you're not doing what yous need to exist doing. For example, they may say, "You need to get up and written report for your math test. Your grade is already low…Come on. I'll help yous."
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A friend hurt me really bad! I tried to forgive them but they constantly treat me different in front of others! They won't call or talk to me unless I do it beginning and they say they busy
Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Piece of work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
Licensed Main Social Worker
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My friend never comes to me when I'm sad or crying, simply she says she likes me
Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
Licensed Master Social Worker
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A true friend will e'er be around for you during good times, bad times, and actually dark times. If y'all see that this is not occurring in your relationship with your friend, perhaps its fourth dimension to movement on.
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Article Summary X
To tell if someone is your friend, notice if they prioritize your friendship over other relationships and situations, particularly when they know you lot need them. For example, when your friend is away on vacation, they'll still make fourth dimension to call and check in on you when you're sick. Also, reflect on how you lot feel when they're around. A true friend should brand you feel happier, instead of stressed out. Find if they really listen when y'all share with them, or if they just want to talk nearly themselves. A true friend will likewise back up your ideas and interests, rather than tear y'all downward. For more tips from our Social Work co-author, similar how to tell if your friend respects your boundaries, continue reading!
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